


A Drop

by maxsaystowrite



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-24 08:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10737516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxsaystowrite/pseuds/maxsaystowrite
Summary: Magnus may have been the first drop of DNA collected, but he certainly wasn't the last. Garfield collects DNA from the other members of the Bureau of Balance, or at least he tries.





	1. Chapter 1

The void fish sang and Johann scratched the tune on parchment at his desk in front of its tank. “I know I know, B, A, B, E. E, G, G. But I don’t think you’re pregnant… There’s not a dude void fish to do that.”

 

The void fish twirled in it’s tank, giving off the light from millions of far off stars. Its colors always moved effortlessly from purple to blue to silver to pink, and so many shades in between, a painter could spend their whole lives recreating its spectrum.  Johann was glad he had no inclination to capture the void fish’s beauty. Just its voice. 

 

The air shifted to his left,  becoming denser, harder to breathe, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He turned his head slowly to the presence he now felt on his left side,  a presence close,  and not unfamiliar.  

 

“Hey Garfield, what up?” Johann asked,  watching Garfield's grinning face. His eyes were dilated in the dark. In the light,  they were slits in a sea of amber iris. They reminded Johann of cat eyes. 

 

Garfield's head cocked ever so slightly to the side. “Want to make a deal?”

 

“A deal?” Johann asked. “I don't want anything from you? And I don't have anything to give you?”

 

Garfield blinked slowly and leaned himself in front of Johann on his desk. Head in hands Garfield pursed his lips together.  

 

“ _ I _ want to give  _ you  _ something. It just so happens to have a price.”

 

Johann raised his eyebrows as a chill itched itself down his spine. “What do you have for  _ me _ ?”

 

Garfield clicked his tongue, then grinning with  all his teeth, “There's a piece on your desk, right now, so beautiful that it could bring the hardest warrior to tears,” His fingers pushed the top pieces of parchment to the side, revealing a piece with jumping melodies and tragic counters simple labeled  _ Âme.  _ “A fine meal for a growing void fish… or,” his eyes raise to Johann’s. “Well, if you wanted to feed it to the fish it'd be done already. It's just been sitting there for weeks upon weeks.”

 

Johann jumped to cover the piece but Garfield took a hold of his wrists and  pulled them to the desk. Johann could hear his heart beating in his ears, his hands started to shake. Garfield's grip was tight, and Johann felt his nails digging into his skin. His face was cold, Johann could see the anger below the surface of his eyes. 

 

“How did you know about  _ Âme _ ?”

 

“I know a lot of things, a lot of people wouldn't want me to.” Garfield removed his hands from Johann’s wrists, his face melting into it's normal, joyful smile as he snatched up  _ Âme _ . “Anywho, I want to publish this, just under your first name. You'll only be known as Johann. And you can't be forgotten if no one knows it's you, right?”

 

Johann's face twisted. “Is that true? Will that really work? Will they really not forget?”

 

Garfield’s cat-like grin somehow grew wider. “I don't know. But wouldn't you like to take the chance?”

 

Johann's mind raced. The proposal that something of his might survive, that he might not be completely gone from history, some part of him will be immortal, was almost too exciting to bare. And then his stomach sank. 

 

“What's the catch?”

 

Garfield giggled, and it was the most scared Johann had ever felt. “No catch. Just a price.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

The room rang with silence, not even the void fish moved. No sloshing of water, not the sound of their breathing, was Garfield even breathing? His chest wasn't heaving as he leaned in close to Johann. 

 

“Just a little bit of  _ you.” _

 

“A bit of m-me?”

 

Garfield hummed, bring his hand up to Johann's long hanging hair.  “Maybe a little hair… maybe a little  _ blood _ .”

 

“Why do you want my blood?”

 

“That doesn't matter. Do we have a deal?”

 

Garfield extended his right hand while holding  _ Âme  _ in his left. 

 

“Just a little?”

 

“You won't even know it's gone.”  

 

Johann reached up and shook Garfield's hand. The void fish let out a G and Johann's hand felt tingly. Garfield rolled up  _ Âme  _ and pulled out a small pair of scissors.  

 

“Let's trim those ends up, shall we?”

 

* * *

 

Garfield wandered in the halls, trying to find a very specific member of the Bureau.

 

Davenport was a curiosity to Garfield. A gnome that can’t say more than his own name, in charge of the destruction of the relics, said gnome almost never out of the sight of the Director. An odd employee of the Bureau, no skills and barely functional, and always at the side of the director. She was in the brig and did not bring Davenport with her. Garfield found his chance to get a drop.

 

The room was dim and Garfield found Davenport facing the left wall, quiet and rocking. He looked at if he was trying to focus on the wall, but his eyes were both lazy, drifting in different directions. Garfield was almost shocked that the Director would leave him alone in a dark room. Almost.

 

_ Easiest extraction ever _ , Garfield thought, entering the room.

 

Davenport didn’t turn or acknowledge him at all, just rocking and staring. Garfield rolled his eyes. _This thing gets to handle the relics…_ _And I'm stuck in Fantasy Costco._

 

Garfield pulled a needle from his sleeve and reached to grab Davenport’s arm.

 

Suddenly, a small hand with immense strength took Garfield’s wrist. Davenport slowly turned his head towards Garfield, pulling his eyes forward with great difficulty to look him in the eye. 

 

“No.” Davenport spat out.

 

Garfield’s lips curled upwards. “Wanna make a deal?”

* * *

 

Everyone at the Bureau received a visit from Garfield. Avi got a bottle of 150 year old dwarven Brandy for a small syringe of his blood. Garfield was able to tempt Carey with a titanium lock pick set for a single scale. Killian gave up one of her many coily curls for a quiver of enchanted arrows. The deals weren't talked about, and no one seemed to know about any others.  

 

Though, when Garfield appeared in her office, Lucretia was expecting him. 

 

“Good evening, Madame Director.” Garfield was just standing in her door frame as if he was waiting to be invited in. 

 

Lucretia looked up from her work, placing her pen down and leaning back in her chair. 

 

“Sit down, Garfield,” Lucretia said simply. 

 

Garfield took the offer and sat in one of the chairs in front of her. 

 

“What brings you to my office today?” 

 

Garfield tapped his fingers against his knee, one after the other. His head cocked to the side as he grinned with his tongue out, so excited he could barely control himself.  

 

“I want to make a deal with you, Madame Director.” A giggle escaped him, terrifying, but Lucretia didn't budge. 

 

“I want nothing to do with you and your deals, Garfield,” The Director’s voice was stern and stale. Garfield's face fell and his excitement simmered. “I allowed you to set up shop here because I thought your collection of magical objects could help our cause. But this.  Making deals, harassing my agents for your…. Twisted purposes. I want nothing to with it. I want you to stop this immediately. Or I'll have to have you removed from the Bureau.”

 

Garfield's mouth hung open. This was the last thing he was expecting. His anger started to boil. The air felt colder, there was a sudden breeze, somehow, on a moonbase. His fingers curled around his knee, gripping it, trying to hide away his emotion. A smile cracked back onto his face. 

 

“But I have some useful information for you, just for a small price of-”

 

“Garfield,” Lucretia said, eyes blank, unamused and not even the least bit frightened. “You're a blip in the fabric of the universe.  There are millions of you. There is one of me and I'll never let you have a drop.”

 

Garfield’s eyes twinkled. “Only one of you?”

 

“Get out of my office, Garfield.”

 

Garfield unfolded his legs and pushed himself up from his chair. His grin was wider than Lucretia had ever seen, and there was a joy behind his eye that left an uneasiness with her. He almost left the room completely  and his hand snapped onto the frame. Garfield tilted his head back,  wholly upside down as he looks back at Lucretia.

 

“By the way, Lucretia, Barry says hello.”

 

Lucretia stood quickly, pushing her chair back with such force it clattered to the ground, her heart pounding, the room beginning to spin. Garfield started to cackle. 

 

“Where is he?”

 

"I'm  _never_ getting a  drop~!”

 

Garfield ducked out of the office, leaving Lucretia alone with her thoughts, the knowledge that Garfield knows about Barry, and the feeling that she had made a detrimental mistake.


	2. Angus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deals, deals, deals left and right. Of course, it doesn't go unnoticed by the world's greatest detective. What can Garfield offer to tempt such a strong will?

Angus first noticed something was up when He watched Garfield wander out of the void fish’s chamber, dropping five pieces of hair into a test tube. Angus hid around the corner as Garfield looked, either way, making sure no one saw him.

 

When Garfield cleared the hall, Angus went into the chamber. Johann was at his desk with his head down, visibly shaking. Angus tiptoed into the room, doing his best not to scare Johann. Though, Johann was still jittery. Angus’ shoe scuffed against the tile floor, Johann jumped and let out a short scream. His eyes focused on Angus, his innocent round face put him at ease and all the tension released from his muscles.

 

“Oh… Angus… it's just you.”

 

“Yeah. It's just me, Mr. Johann,” Angus said as he moved closer to the desk. He noticed Johann's hand was gripping his quill tight. “Are you okay, sir?”

 

Johann let out the breath he was holding in. “Yeah. Just fine.”

 

“Sir, you're shaking and haven't loosened your grip on your pen,” Angus took another step towards him. Johann flinched and Angus’ heart hurt. “Why was Garfield in here?”

 

Johann sighed and averted his gaze.

 

“Did he try to hurt the void fish? Did he hurt you? Did he try to steal your soul?”

 

Johann looked up at Angus, his eyes wide and determined through his large glasses. There was something so trustworthy about those eyes.  A deep warm brown, nothing like amber slits. Though they both bore into his soul.

 

“In a matter of speaking, yeah,” Johann said. His eyes began to fill as he blinked away the tears. “He took my magnum opus… he said he could publish it…. That maybe something of me might survive …”

 

Angus gasped. “You gave him _Âme_?”

 

“Does everyone know about it?”

 

“Why did he offer to publish it?” Angus asked. “What does that give him?”

 

Johann ran a hand through his hair. “He's a deals warlock, Angus. He asked for something in return.”

 

“What did he ask for?”

 

Johann shrugged. “Just… just five hairs. That's all he wanted….”

 

“Huh? Five hairs?” Angus tapped his chin, counting the reasons that came to mind. “Why would he want just five little hairs?”

 

“I-I don't know. But it seemed too good of an offer to resist?”

 

“Yes, that’s probably what he wanted you to think,” Angus said. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

 

“I don't think so? I think I've told you everything…”

 

Angus snapped his fingers and turned on his heels. “Don't worry Mr. Johann, sir. I'll get to the bottom of this!”

 

“Angus I made a deal, I didn't actually sell my soul.”

 

“To the bottom of this!”

 

Angus skipped out of the chamber, heading towards the bureau's library to go looking for some answers. The library was a magnificent building with a dome all to itself. Three stories and shelves lining the walls and creating a pathway of knowledge and records. The history section was the largest, detailed accounts of their world. Angus wondered why it was larger than the references.  He just assumed Lucretia had more use for history and maps than books on magics. Even though, they were dealing with some of the most powerful magic anyone's ever seen.

 

Angus scanned the shelves, looking for something, anything, that screamed _DNA._ Soon, he had a stack of books taller than him. He shoveled them onto a table and opened the first one. _Transmutation: An Ant To A Tree._

 

The sun was set and the library was only dimly lit by electric torches on the walls. They flicked as if they held real energy and life. Lucretia found Angus asleep on an open 300 years old book and drooling. She gently touched his back, nudging him slightly.

 

Angus shot up, snorting and adjusting his glasses.

 

Lucretia giggled. “Did you have a nice nap?”

 

“What time is it?” Angus whined, rubbing his eyes.

 

“It’s time for you to go to bed,” Lucretia said in her mothering tone Angus had learned to love.

 

Angus stretched and pushed himself from the table. Lucretia was trying to only watch him, but her eyes wandered to the books surrounding him.

 

“What are you looking for, Angus?” She asked, troubled by the wide array of subjects from construction to necromancy.

 

Angus was quiet for a moment, staring hard at the book in front of him. His fingers fiddled together, something they did when he was thinking, rather, when he was deciding.

 

“Why is Garfield here?” Angus asked suddenly.

 

Lucretia paused for a moment to compile her answer. “Well, he had an immense horde of magical objects that I proposed he could exchange and sell for a powerful cause.”

 

“Is he interested in the relics?”

 

She sighed. “Of course, everyone in the bureau is. And magical objects are his specialty.”

 

Angus was quiet again, staring again, fiddling again. Lucretia was always frustrated with him. She could never read him like she could the others. His fingers stopped twiddling.

 

“Never let him near the relics. Not even once, for a peek. Okay? Please? Promise me, Madame Lucretia?”

 

Lucretia’s heart leaped. “O-Of course. I’d never let anyone but the most trusted handle the relics.”

 

“Good,” Angus said, hopping off the chair and sliding a book off the table. Advanced NNecromancy should a light read before bed. He looked up at her a smiled. “Can you walk me to my room?”

 

Lucretia smiled too, his smile always made her do that. She rester her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Avi shrugged, looking down at his forearm. The track mark wasn’t even bleeding. He grinned as he cracked open his prize, 150 year old dwarven Brandy. The seal made a satisfying snap when he twisted the top. He raised the bottle to his lips.

 

But before he could get a taste, it was snatched out of his hands.

 

“Hey what the fuck?!” Avi looked down and Angus was waving his wand over the precariously tilted bottle. His face was cold with determination and he had a book strapped to his back almost the size of him. “Ango! Don’t spill that! I just got it!”

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Avi, sir! I’ve gotta check the arcana levels of this alcohol!” Angus exclaimed as he waved his wand faster over it.

 

Avi’s anger sizzled quickly and he laughed. Who could stay mad at Angus McDonald? “Why? You heard something? Is this bottle extra strong?”

 

He watched Angus go from alert to deflated, throwing his wand arm down and to the side.

 

“No. It’s just regular old brandy.”

 

“Bummer, little dude. Mind if I take that back before you water the grass with it?”

 

Angus sighed and handed the guard back his full bottle of untouched brandy. Avi took a healthy swig as Angus walked off, looking for the next person on his list. He found both Carey and Killian in the gym, sparring. NO-3113 was keeping score.

 

“Ma’ams!! I’m sorry to interrupt!! Ma’ams!!” Angus called trying to gain their attention.

 

Carey was in mid air when she noticed Angus. She turned her jump kick into a hold as she landed on Killian’s shoulder, Killian catching her perfectly. Carey sat on Killian’s shoulders and rested her head on top of Killian’s.

 

“Hey there buddy!” Carey said, grinning wide. She was always ecstatic to see him. “What brings you to our neck of the woods?”

 

Angus shuffled close to them and looked up from his tiny height. Killian’s stature was only mildly imposing.

 

“Well, i’m on the hunt for some information! Could I possible take a look at your lock pick set, Ms. Carey?” Angus asked, head bent all the way back so he could look Carey in the eyes as he spoke.

 

Carey blinked and pulled out her lock pick set from her pocket. “Sure thing, why though?” She reached down and Angus reached up. Killian passed the kit between the gap.

 

Angus pulled out his wand and circled it over the kit. “I wanted to see something....” Angus’ heart fell when his check came up empty. He looked up at Killian. “Ms. Killian, can i see your new quiver?”

 

Killian raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, it’s in the corner there.” She pointed to the nearest corner to their right. Angus was there before she could finish, running his test for a third and final time.

 

Angus grinned and picked up the quiver as best as he could, weight of the book on his back made sure he didn’t fall forward. _Finally!_

 

“Ms. Killian! These arrows are filled with magic!!” Angus announced, fully knowing he’d have to explain the significance. He waited for the questions to pour in. He was disappointed.

 

“Yeah, they better have magic in them!” Killian said.

 

Angus’ face fell as he dropped the quiver. “What?”

 

“Garfield promised they were enchanted. But I’m not good enough at magic to feel that shit,” Killian smiled even harder. “Thanks for confirming little man!”

 

Angus’ expression turned sour as frustration bubbled inside his stomach. He stormed out of the gym without another word. He heard Carey and Killian calling after him, but he ignored them.

 

_Everything had been what they seemed! There aren’t catches to these deals! He’s just trading valuable things for DNA. But why? Why would he give so much for something so small?_

 

Angus hadn’t noticed he had been walking towards the Fantasy Costco until he nearly ran into the dome concealing it. He looked up at the building and felt a sinking feeling in his gut. Everything was telling him not to.

 

_What would Mr. Taako do?_

 

With a new wave of confidence, Angus marched into the dome, into the Costco. The lighting was artificial and low compared to the outside light. The floors an ashy grey and shelves that seemed to go on forever. Angus weaved in and out of each aisle, studying every object, cataloging it in his brain and filing it away. He made sure to make a mental note of anything that could be dangerous.

 

Angus walked the entire store and found nothing alarming. He also didn’t run into Garfield. Not even a glimpse of the firey orange hair. He twirled in the middle of the empty store.

 

_If I were to hide a secret scary plan, where would I hide it?_

 

Angus was drawn to the back, moving through the already picked through shelves, all the way to the upper corner of the store. There, was a door, simple and brown.

 

_Perfect_.

 

Angus opened it without hesitation, knowing full well that Garfield could be right behind the door. He braced himself as he threw the door open.

 

It would have been just an empty office with more shelves of things and a desk full of papers if it wasn’t for a large, glowing tank that seemed to have someone floating in it. Angus’ first reaction is to jerk back. But the detective in him compelled him to move forward. He got an up close look at the tank. It gave off a vibrant green light. That shade of green _moved_ Angus. He felt a pulse from the color, he felt _life_ from the color.

 

The boy detective was entranced by the tank and the color and the outline within the tank. It seemed so familiar, like he knew the person floating there. His nose scrunched in thought as he looked closer and closer at the outline, trying to figure who it reminded him of. Broad shoulders, long torso. The face was blacked out, so no feature was determinable. But the ears, and head shape. And on the sides of his face, where those-?

 

“ _Angus_ ,” The coldest chill shot down his spine as his name was sang out in a high, cracking note. An ice cold hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. He was lifted, and suddenly face to face with amber eyes with slits for pupils. He was already grinning. “Boy detective! What an honor to have you in my little nook of the moon base!”

 

Angus seized up, frozen light a kitten picked up in the very same spot. He could barely move, barely look away from those glowing amber eyes.

 

Garfield’s head snapped to the side. “What brings you here, Angus? I know you’ve heard of my little deals going on through the Bureau,” He said, through his teeth. His voice had somehow changed, still harsh and scratchy, but lower. The points of articulation went down instead of up. The first ‘Angus’ was drastically different from the second. “Did you happen to want to make a deal?”

 

“You have nothing I want!” Angus managed, it was the only thing he could get out.

 

Angus could have sworn he saw a twinkle in his eye.

 

“On the contrary, my dear boy. I have _exactly_ what you want.”

 

Garfield plopped Angus back down on his feet and stepped to one of the shelves. Garfield reached for a high box, dragging it down and dropping it on his desk. The contents rattled together in a metallic cluster. Angus recognized the box immediately.

 

“Grandpa’s silverware?” Angus said, voice soft as he moved towards it, hand outstretched. “You’ve had it the whole time?” His hands slid across the leather, feeling every creves. “How did you…”

 

“I never reveal my sources,” Garfield said. “Plus, I don’t think you’ll be too fond of the answer.”

 

Angus thought about the long history of the forks and spoons and how they’ve been with his family for centuries, and now they’re in the hands of a sleazy warlock.

 

“You know my price, Angus,” Garfield raised a hand to bounce one of the curls atop Angus’ head and his gut twisted. “Just a little bit of _you_ for your grandfather’s remaining set of silverware.”

 

Angus was silent. If he didn’t talk, he couldn’t say something wrong. He couldn’t accidently agree to something he’d regret.

 

_Grandpa wouldn’t want this. Not like this._

 

“I’m not taking your deal.” Angus said, looking up at Garfield, whose grin had deflated. “I don’t want anything _that_ bad.”

 

Garfield’s eyes narrowed. He reached over Angus, who flinched at the action, to pluck the book off his back.

 

“ _Advanced Necromancy,_ my ass,” He said, opening the book and flipping aimlessly through the pages. “This is child’s play.” Garfield wandered over to the tank and leaned against it. “I guess that’s why _you’re_ reading from it.”

 

It clicked.

 

“What sort of necromancy are you doing with the members’ DNA?” It was more of a demand than a question. “They’re not dead! They’re all perfectly fine!”

 

Garfield looked up from the book, face shadowed by the glowing green. He almost looked like the body behind him, dark, featureless, just an outline. All but his eyes that that still projected amber, and his cheshire grin that reflected any type of light.

 

“Oh, I’ll tell you. If you make a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to @Dareandwriteit who asked how Garfield goes after Angus. Well, that was a prompt I couldn't say no to. So we get a second chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you liked it leave a comment! I have four more Adventure Zone fics set in wonderland. I also have Yuri!!! On Ice, Voltron, Miraculous Ladybug, RWBY, Gravity Falls, Star Wars, and Kingsmen fics! Go read those if you're interested! Thank you so much!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked it leave a comment! I have three more Adventure Zone fics set in wonderland. I also have Yuri!!! On Ice, Voltron, Miraculous Ladybug, RWBY, Gravity Falls, Star Wars, and Kingsmen fics! Go read those if you're interested! Thank you so much!


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